life's like a rock.

pasko

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:07:39 GMT

ang pagbibigay ng mga regalo ngayong pasko ay tulad ng paghithit ng sampung kilong marijuana...

mahal.

random musings

Fri, 11 May 2007 17:20:43 GMT

"reciprocation isn't a prerequisite for caring for someone you really care about"

"enjoy ka lang. pagtapos ka na magenjoy tawagan mo ko."

"i don't want to be the first or the latest. i want to be the last."

"for the sake of argument, lets say mahal ko na nga. that doesn't really change anything does it?"

"bullet day, you won't hit me. (balang araw, mamimiss mo rin ako.)"

home stretch

Sun, 06 May 2007 02:15:46 GMT

last week ng kampanya tambak na lahat ng pressure AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

crushing

Fri, 04 May 2007 15:52:51 GMT

hahahaha high school type crush giddy lightheaded no expectations basta masaya lang ako talaga ganung klase ba ung tipong kahit sobrang stress ayos lang kasi nandun naman sya hahaha mababaw pero masaya XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIVmHEg6kK8

hello world

Wed, 02 May 2007 16:40:46 GMT

nagfriendster ako ngaun lang binasa ko mga testi ng mga tao sakin. and i realized that i HAVE touched lives and somehow made some sort of difference in one way or another. and if my life ended suddenly right now, it wouldnt have been a complete waste.

still i find myself depressed sometimes just wanting a hug.

malalim tas mababaw parang life.

greys anatomy

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:19:58 GMT

"...as tough as wanting something can be, the ones who suffer the most are those that don't know what they want."

solid.

hahaha maturity

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:40:21 GMT

sooo i met this girl. cute sya, funny, smart, nakakaride sa mga trip ko ganun. tapos nagusap kami kahapon ng mejo seryoso. getting to know ika nga, open up naman kami sa isa't isa.

tapos during the course of the conversation i found myself thinking "hindi na nito kelangan ng isa pang poporma sa kanya, kelangan nya ng kaibigan."

tapos nagdecide akong wag sya karirin. hahahaha.

may natututunan din naman ata pala ako sa buhay.

wise words

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:22:57 GMT

sabi sakin kanina kaya raw wala akong girlfriend e dahil sa lahat ng drama sa buhay ko kahit sino titiklop. nice one.

naisip ko lang

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:31:02 GMT

there's only one thing sadder than being hopelessly in love with someone who cant reciprocate

its finding you cant get yourself to fall in love with anyone else

bago matulog

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 15:23:27 GMT

alam nio sa lahat ng ingay ng kampanya wala talagang panahon mag emo o magisip ng hindi kampanya-related na mga bagay. kaso kanina nag outing kami ng high school friends lunch at swimming sa bahay nila sa silang, cavite. tapos nung palubog na araw tas mahangin tas dumaan ung isa kong friend tapos sabi nia pare tignan mo ung langit o nakaka emo.

tapos na emo nga ako hahaha.

alam nio ba ung dillema na sing tindi ng life and death na decision na talagang lahat ng possible but unprobable consequences pinagiisipan mo paulit ulit ulit ulit ulit tapos kala mo sobrang seryosong problema tapos nakatitig ka sa cellphone mong may nakatype na "namiss kita today.." tapos naghohover ung finger mo dun sa send button?

hahaha sabi ko nga lahat ng kadramahan sa buhay nalulutas ng tulog goodnight

its all about the image

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 17:39:36 GMT

FYI: clean cut ako ngayon. hair cut to high school standards and my kickass beard shaved off. kasi nangangampanya kami tas nasabihan ako nung isang matanda na muka raw akong goons kaya ganun.

pero kung image ang paguusapan dapat hanapan ako ng chicks ng team barbie atienza kasi ang pangit tignan ng konsehal tas ung anak nya walang girlfriend diba?

mabuhay ang manileño!

too tired to post coherently

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:59:08 GMT

8:00 am-11:30am house to house

11:30am-1:00pm lunch break

1:00pm-4:00pm coordination meetings, leaders' forums, any other scheduled meetings (occasionaly time for rest)

4:00pm-6:30pm house to house

6:30pm-7:30pm dinner/mobilization meeting

7:30pm-9:00pm caucus a

9:00pm-10:30pm caucus b

10:30pm-12:00am caucus c (dependent on availability of coordinator, if unavailable, insert integration meeting here)

12:00am-1:00am integration meeting

for the past 4 days. now repeat for the next 26 days.

god is the worst father ever.

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 16:17:20 GMT

eye-catching subject yes. but i mean it.

think about it, what kind of father could go

look, son, i know we've got it good up here but i want you to go suffer and kill yourself

but why dad?

coz i love them and your death is the only way for them to pay for their sins

dont you love me?

of course i do

shouldnt they pay for their own sins?

they should but im god and you have to do what i tell you.

but this isn't generally how people picture that conversation happening. we've all been told to think that god in his infinite wisdom loved us all so much that he sent his only begotten son blah blah blah.

fact is, thats a terrible thing for a dad to do.

but

if millions people over thousands of years can overlook that and still see their god as an infinitely good being then it shouldnt be so hard to see past anyone's indiscretions right?

its funny but you know when you break free of the shackles of religion its so much easier to feel a connection with that something thats bigger than everything and anything. fuck it if i dont call that whatever-it-is god. religion makes you religious but love, the love that all these would-be gods-on-earth preach about all the time but fail to set an example for, that makes you righteous, i think.

either that or im burning in hell.

fuck it.

hungover (and not just on booze)

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 09:01:30 GMT

so i got really wasted last night hahaha.. dapat pupunta ko dun sa gig nila owel pero after 45 mins na paikot ikot sa morato area ng hindi mahanap ung bar na yun pumunta na lang ako sa party ng kaibigan ko sa merville.. sorry owel hahahaha...

it's nice to be pleasantly surprised by some people. ewan, maybe may mga tao lang who like to act like complete airheads to be underestimated. and then when you least expect it they spew out words of wisdom that you so desperately need.

hahaha. it was a good night, minus the splitting headache and mild LBM from this morning.

and i'm off to my dad's fundraiser party. and no, i'm not going to make a scene.

he IS my dad after all, and we have a lot more in common than i ever ever thought.

oh and thanks to the new "no advising, no enrollment" policy of the department for this summer, im taking my first summer vacation in five years. and it's imposed. good luck to me then. XD

life is like a wheel, too

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:09:46 GMT

soooo it's been a year since everyone close to me graduated and i was left behind. totally my fault. anyway, it was nice seeing some of them earlier today. although kanina ko lang narealize na andami ko na palang hindi alam tungkol sa mga tao. a year changes people. at least they change SOME people.

for some of us, though things happen, things don't really change. sometimes in your desire to move forward, you don't see that the path you're on isn't really linear at all. in a more perfect world, all of our roads would be anth's skyway. a straight line, well maintained. where it's easy to keep track of where you've been, and where you're going. where life seems full of possibilities and there's just no end to that stretch.

but the world isn't perfect, now is it? some roads go around in circles. and worse yet, most of those roads aren't the kind where you see the turn coming. those roads have subtle curves and unchanging scenery, so you can't really tell if you've been there before or not. sometimes, you can only learn in retrospect. sometimes, you really don't learn that much at all.

so its confusing. but it's comforting to know that amidst the confusion, you're not really alone. there are some people out there just as confused as you are. you know what i mean, those people who make driving more than a way of getting from point a to point b. those people who make you not mind going around in circles as long as they're in for the ride.

so, what happens next? can't really say.

i remember before when i kept telling people that my motto in life was no regrets. that no matter what happens, learn from your mistakes, and never regret anything. well, i'm taking that back.

maybe i'm more jaded and cynical now. or maybe i've just gotten a teeny bit wiser after all this time. i don't know. what i DO know is i truly believe right now that life really isn't life at all unless you have decisions you truly regret making. sabi ng counting crows "if you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame".

today i stared more than i have in a long time.

sure beats playing video games.

the 3 am blues

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 19:00:08 GMT

so i was thinking, maybe distancing myself way before i had to may have made dealing with the changes that comes into every life easier, but in the long run, it just doesn't work.

i attended an event earlier today.. the first time i actually went out for social interaction in a long time.. thing is, i had to go in kind of a hurry. see, my sister called me. she told me that my other sister called her. she was holed up in her room crying and she could her my dad screaming in the background. apparently, all the pent-up problems that were swept under the rug since my parents' separation were coming out.

so i dropped everything and rushed home.

when i got there, everything was okay, save for a few neighbors hanging around outside the house with a look in their eyes that seemed to say "are-you-ok?" but really meant "thank-you-for-giving-us-something-to-gossip-about-for-quite-some-time." guess my dad's gonna lose some votes in this neighborhood.

anyway, thats not the point. the point is, after all this happened, and my mom and my sisters finally calmed down enough to try and get some sleep, i was sitting there wondering who i could call and talk about what i was feeling.

ladies and gentlemen, no names could come to mind.

see, reverting back to the beginning of this post, i had some of the best friends anyone could hope for back then. and when the time came to face what was going to be a certain parting of ways, i decided to pull away to make moving on that much easier.

whoopee look at me now.

and someone i talked to recently said it was my fault for not making the most of the time we had. i guess she's right. so what now? is it possible to undo mistakes? course not. only thing you can do is roll with the punches and hope what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

so why blog this melodramatic point of my life that will quickly be forgotten after a good night's sleep anyway? i dunno. maybe someone who's in the same dilemma i was in will stumble upon these words. hopefully, they won't make the same mistake i did.

the hardest part of this is the fact that everyone i distanced myself from have moved on to bigger things in life. i say bigger, but i hesitate to say better. anyway, they've found new groups, new friends.

and me? haha.. i'm blogging at 3 in the morning because i have no one to talk to.

go figure, eh?

philosophy lessons from malate

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 16:12:24 GMT

so i was driving from rob manila this afternoon after dropping my mom off. the signage on one of the bars i passed caught my eye. it said "live music everyday."

i said wow. that's some pretty good advice. maybe if we all lived music everyday, the world would really, really rock.

it took 30 minutes before i realized that i misread the sign.

isn't just that wonderful? probably one of the best messages i've gotten in the past two years, and it was a misread sign.

Sun, 21 May 2006 12:17:47 GMT

Encouraging Inventor

i am an encouraging inventor whatever the hell that means.

i have effectively wasted 15 minutes of my life.

off to church XD

hello.

Wed, 17 May 2006 13:46:56 GMT

owel you kick ass. hahahahaha.

sinabi sakin ni ean na downloadable na nga raw ung EP. tae ang galing. hahahaha.

puro bio sa utak ko ngayon, kaliwa't kanan. i can tell you where each muscle (ng frog) originates and inserts and how the blood flows sa circulatory system (ng frog).

di ko parin alam pano to magiging useful pag rakstar nako.

boo uli

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 18:06:17 GMT

i finally FINALLY finished kingdom heats. said game was erased from memory until very recently (salamat po). ang astig ng trailer ng kingdom hearts 2, sana bad guy nga si sora. tinapos ko, at syempre tulad ng lahat ng rpg, tinapos ko ng buo. naka 3 araw rin ako kay sephiroth bago ko natalo. tas sa ending si lance bass daw ung sumisigaw ng sin harvest or whatever na basta nakkatakot na sigaw ni sephi tas naubos lahat ng pagkaangas ni sephi sakin. hahahahaha. ang pangit nung ultima na keyblade ginamit ko ung oathkeeper para matapos for roleplay value yun lang. hahahahahaha. ayus na ps2 ko yebalens hahahahahahahaha nabobore ulit ako uhoh naghahanap na naman ako ata ng drama sa buhay hahahaha lasing ako kung di pa nahahalata by now hahahaha gusto ko na mamaaty or something eqwan ko ba lahat ng m,ahal;a ko mawawala njung simula ng post na top ineeedti ko pa mga wrong spellig pero ayoko na kasi nakakaatamad hahahaa inmom tayuo lahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat hahahahahahahahahahaqhahahaa hanggag march nalang kayo mga poutang ina ninyong lahat bahala klayo iwanan nyo na ko kung gusto nyo melai oo nga pla anug kelanagan mo sa transcript mo sabihin mo laNAG ako bahala dun haahaha sorry now lang ako naginternet uli pitang ina im so frikin wasterd di nako makatype ng dirseys opo pero baghala kayo nmga mangiiwan hmph hahahahahhaghshahahahahaashahahahahaah fuk

Wed, 25 May 2005 03:53:58 GMT

hindi na tuloy sa puerto, apparently fully booked ung bahay buong linggo, ang pwede lang 30 to 1 e enrollment na sa 1. oh well. sorry.

baguio, anyone?

Tue, 17 May 2005 12:14:53 GMT

i was caught off-guard by how apathetic and uncaring people are.

out of nowhere, it started raining at around 6pm. hard. HARD. the lightning was pretty freaky too. i was sure i was gonna get hit.

anyway, while driving home, at that c-5 flyover over shaw, there was this guy walking along the side of the road, soaked to the bone, trudging in ankle-deep water in his sneakers, and pushing his SYM scooter. i couldn't just ignore him so when the traffic stopped, i flipped on my hazard, and opened the passenger door, and waited for him to catch up. i asked him if he wanted a ride. he refused at first, saying his scooter would be too heavy, my seats would get wet, and stuff like that. he was pretty well-spoken, with an english twang. anyways, after a while, he accepted the offer and i stepped out of the fx to help him load his scooter. at this moment, the traffic in front of me started to move. the driver in the car behind me started to incessantly blare his horn, and even opened his window to scream profanities.

i swear to god, nagulat ako.

i mean, i can understand that no one else wanted to help the guy. i mean, not everyone's back seat can be collapsed for a scooter to be able to fit. not everyone has vinyl seats that dont absorb moisture. not everyone has the guts to offer a total stranger a ride. pero the common decency to wait, what? 15 seconds? for a person to not have to walk 8 kilometers in pouring rain dragging his bike along, when even THAT courtesy becomes a rarity, ewan. it scares me.

so rommel, pasensya ka na't kinailangan mo mabasa ng todo bago may tumulong sa yo. pasensya ka na't namura ka pa nung nasa likod natin. pasensya ka na pero ganito lang talaga ata ang mundo. siguro kailangan lang natin masanay, tsong.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mon, 16 May 2005 14:08:22 GMT

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Macanchor is your soulmate.

You truly love Jacy.

You consider Anth your true friend.

You know that Nikki is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Chichi for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Les is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Frances is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that ??? is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that ??? changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Rita is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Rita has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

wooooooooooooot!

Sun, 08 May 2005 15:44:05 GMT

friends, nood kayo nung one-set gig namin sa tuesday, sa tayol's 5060. malapit lang sya sa st. scho na malapit lang sa lasalle na nasa taft, vito cruz. mga 9 start ata ng set. 45 mins lang kami kaya agahan nyo. hahahaha. pleaaaaaaaaase? =D

hahaha. nakumpleto na rin ang lineup.

perfect/make it with you
when i met you
crazy for you/your song
wag na lang kaya
all my life
kung ok lng sayo
freshmen
ako'y sayo ika'y akin
cannonball
no one else comes close
hinahanap-hanap kita
bizarre love triangle
hurt
play that funky music

aaaaaaaayt? rak!

ooh look at me, im all commited and shit

Sun, 08 May 2005 13:05:14 GMT

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?